Dear Ralph Fiennes,

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If I ever have the pleasure to meet you, I promise to address you as “Rafe Fines”.

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You’ve said, “The process of making a film is a mad lottery. Whenever you get the feeling that you’re making something special, you have to quickly squash it because you are so often proved wrong.”

You have been nominated over fifty times in your film career but have never won an Oscar or Golden Globe. Your biggest accolade thus far is a Tony Award for Hamlet in 1995. Your villains in film have reached iconic status; your voice is as smooth and delicious as aged Scotch; your eyes and intellect entrance; and you have the breadth and depth on the same plateau as Daniel Day-Lewis. Here’s one top-ten list showcasing your talent:

Other personal favorites would include: The Duchess, The Invisible Women, and Grand Budapest Hotel. You do have your trademark expressions frozen in my mind.

The Pained Lover

Relationships are difficult, aren’t they? Especially when outside forces interfere with your all-consuming love. Who better than you to lament, mourn, suffocate, or repress your devotion for a lady on the screen?

The Powerful Boss

You ooze power and your haughty confidence makes anyone jump. I love your energy.

The intelligent, psychotic monster

Here’s where you shine. You are the epitome of Lucifer from Milton’s, Paradise Lost who  sermonizes, rationalizes, and justifies his case for descent. Ralph Fiennes, you’re not scary; you’re petrifying. How do you shed that horrible character and go back to Ralph Fiennes? When you wake up at 3:00a.m., and look into the mirror, I wonder what you think and who you see?

Daring, unexpected roles 

You have the ability to play diverse characters when you aren’t portraying the above archetype. Ralph, even with flops like The Avengers or Maid in Manhattan, I find you one of the more horrifying and stimulating actors working today.  As a director, I enjoyed The Invisible Women. I thought it a marvelous period piece. Looking forward to seeing you in Bond 24.

I remain faithfully,

Your Biggest Fan

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